If you'd like to know the origin of this blog's name, check out the actual hip hop song I recorded on youtube. About 8 years ago, I recorded a hip hop album under my rap name 'Sonny-D' called 'The Suburban Assassin'. I'd like to warn you that there are explicit lyrics (except for the aforementioned 'Ville Street Blues') so don't listen if you offend easily. Remember, they're just lyrics! Coming soon are some newer songs I recorded in a real studio. Special thanks go to my brother in law for putting some of my music up on youtube for me.
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSuburbanAssassin
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
What Kind of Facebook Status Updater Are You?
It's no secret that the social networking site 'Facebook' has become hugely popular over the last few years. With it has come a whole new way for the self important narcissist to advertise things about their lives that they think other people are really interested in, but only sort of are.
But with the emergence of Facebook popularity has come the popularity of the Facebook status update. The little nuggets of information we post on our page for all in our social network to read. There are different categories of status updaters though. Without further ado:
*The Angry Updater: They post something they are pissed off about all the time. They hate their job, the people at it, and don't care who knows it. They curse a lot too, without censoring themselves. I could divide these into two different categories because the cursers are not always angry, but in the interest of space I will lump them into one. I think a lot of people forget that their parents, priests, or sweet old granny maybe reading their updates, and they may not want to hear how you "motherf-cking love" that new song from your favorite metal band.(yes, they're usually all metal fans too)
*The My Kid Did This Today Updater: We get it. You have a baby. It consumes most of your life. That's normal. But is anything happening in your life? We are friends with you on facebook, not your 3 year old Freddy. You would be hard pressed to find a status update from this person that does not have to do with their kid(s).
*The Movie Quote Updater: I think I am one of the most guilty of this one. Anytime I don't have much to say I put up a random, sometimes obscure, sometimes way overused quote from one of my favorite movies.
Coupled with the above is ...
*The People Who Don't Get That You're Posting a Movie Quote Commenter: No, dear Aunt Ethel, I did not really have a problem with my TPS reports today at work, Peter in 'Office Space' did.
*The Bible Quoting Updater: Um, yeah, religion, I'm not going there. But they are out there. You have one as your Facebook friend.
*The Bad Spelling/No Punctuation Updater: I know Facebook is not a Harvard Essay, but can you make your stuff the slightest bit readable? The run-on sentences with no punctuation choc-full of the OMG's and WTF's are tough to read. I'm so sorry to hear that 'omg u lost ur phone today wtf this is tha worst day ever o well at least i have my babies i will always luv them'. Huh?
*The Melancholy Updater: They're always sad and melancholy, and often sound suicidal. Some of the updates may prompt you to ask them in a private message "Are you okay?" I think sometimes people are so wrapped up in themselves that they do not realize how they sound to others. That obscure song lyric about how 'life is not worth it without your special flower' is killing us. Really. Lighten up. Being alive is a good thing. Also, we get it, you screwed up in your relationship and now you want your girlfriend back, move on.
*The Way Too Many Details About Your Day Updater: Thanks to your status, we all know you're about to change into a red shirt and some jeans, head out to an appointment at 2pm, then meet your uncle for dinner at Carraba's at 6pm, then maybe you'll stop for a drink with Suzie, but maybe not, and then you're home to relax on the couch until you fall asleep. Oh, and we're glad the stuff you ordered from Amazon got there today. We can all rest easy now.
*The Bragging Updater: Personal accomplishments are certainly something to be proud of. No one is denying it. But the constant "today I________!" can wear on your average reader. I'm very glad you did the stairmaster for an hour, very glad for you, but honestly it doesn't do much for me. Plus, you're not being that subtle when you sneak in your status that you went to the gym, among your other errands for the day. You really just want to tell us all that you're working out, right?
*The Obvious Updater: John Doe hates bad weather! Jane Doe hates being sick. Joe Doe hates terrorism. Really? Because we all LOVE those things!
*The Passive Aggressive Updater: Often they direct some sort of gripe, insult, or song lyric at someone, but won't ever mention who they mean. They hate liars. They can't stand backstabbers. And yes, they may be talking about you.
*The Facebook Veejay Updater: They are our Facebook DJ's, or VJ's I should say, as they post music videos all day long from youtube. Seems to be that the Facebook VJ posts a new song for every emotion they're going through. Sometimes, they even do the DJ intros, such as : "Here's one for all the single ladies out there tonight..." Don't get me wrong, I have posted music videos before, and I surely I understand relating to songs in times of different emotions, but when you post 5 different videos within 15 minutes, it starts to looks a little weird. We are barely through your first music video before you are posting a second and third. We can't keep up Mr. DJ!
*The Roller Coaster of Emotions Updater: They're going through a breakup with their significant other. First, they show us phoney happiness about being free, "Good riddance! Can't wait to party as a single tonight! You had your chance with me but you ruined it!". Here's when they change their default picture to a shot of just them by themselves. Second, here comes the anger if things didn't go their way. There's usually some sort of 'I'm better off without you' type of song lyric in there and sometimes they will get mean and nasty, giving the world way too much information. Third, they're regretting the breakup and post some sort of sad song lyric, followed by a change of their default picture again, back to one of the two of them. Fourth, if they get back together with their significant other, they are happy again, before the entire cycle repeats itself soon enough. And this cycle will repeat itself over and over again with this type of updater.
*The Self Important Updater: They seem to think we are sitting by Facebook with popcorn, watching their lives 24-7, as if they are Jim Carrey's character in 'The Truman Show'. They post everything about every move they make, and they just assume we always know what they're talking about. Their sense of what other people care about is a tad out of touch with reality. "Well, that meeting went well, time to practice, and hopefully I can get on the ball this time, lol." Um, what meeting? Practice what? Yes! Please let us know if you can 'get on the ball this time'! We're biting our nails in anticipation.
*The Sports Superfan Updater: We all know who your favorite team is and who your favorite player is. We've seen the countless photos of you in your jersey, and thousands of pictures of the players. In fact, before you came to Facebook, I did not even realize anyone cared about this sport. Thanks for the sports updates. It's a good thing I have Facebook, otherwise, I would not have known that there was a game tonight.
And just to show you what a good sport I am....
*The Self Advertising Updater: Yes, this is me, many times. Listen to the songs I just recorded! Read my blog(s)! Check out the article I just wrote! I need more page views, more facebook "likes". Okay, I know, you get it. ;-)
Happy Facebooking!
But with the emergence of Facebook popularity has come the popularity of the Facebook status update. The little nuggets of information we post on our page for all in our social network to read. There are different categories of status updaters though. Without further ado:
*The Angry Updater: They post something they are pissed off about all the time. They hate their job, the people at it, and don't care who knows it. They curse a lot too, without censoring themselves. I could divide these into two different categories because the cursers are not always angry, but in the interest of space I will lump them into one. I think a lot of people forget that their parents, priests, or sweet old granny maybe reading their updates, and they may not want to hear how you "motherf-cking love" that new song from your favorite metal band.(yes, they're usually all metal fans too)
*The My Kid Did This Today Updater: We get it. You have a baby. It consumes most of your life. That's normal. But is anything happening in your life? We are friends with you on facebook, not your 3 year old Freddy. You would be hard pressed to find a status update from this person that does not have to do with their kid(s).
*The Movie Quote Updater: I think I am one of the most guilty of this one. Anytime I don't have much to say I put up a random, sometimes obscure, sometimes way overused quote from one of my favorite movies.
Coupled with the above is ...
*The People Who Don't Get That You're Posting a Movie Quote Commenter: No, dear Aunt Ethel, I did not really have a problem with my TPS reports today at work, Peter in 'Office Space' did.
*The Bible Quoting Updater: Um, yeah, religion, I'm not going there. But they are out there. You have one as your Facebook friend.
*The Bad Spelling/No Punctuation Updater: I know Facebook is not a Harvard Essay, but can you make your stuff the slightest bit readable? The run-on sentences with no punctuation choc-full of the OMG's and WTF's are tough to read. I'm so sorry to hear that 'omg u lost ur phone today wtf this is tha worst day ever o well at least i have my babies i will always luv them'. Huh?
*The Melancholy Updater: They're always sad and melancholy, and often sound suicidal. Some of the updates may prompt you to ask them in a private message "Are you okay?" I think sometimes people are so wrapped up in themselves that they do not realize how they sound to others. That obscure song lyric about how 'life is not worth it without your special flower' is killing us. Really. Lighten up. Being alive is a good thing. Also, we get it, you screwed up in your relationship and now you want your girlfriend back, move on.
*The Way Too Many Details About Your Day Updater: Thanks to your status, we all know you're about to change into a red shirt and some jeans, head out to an appointment at 2pm, then meet your uncle for dinner at Carraba's at 6pm, then maybe you'll stop for a drink with Suzie, but maybe not, and then you're home to relax on the couch until you fall asleep. Oh, and we're glad the stuff you ordered from Amazon got there today. We can all rest easy now.
*The Bragging Updater: Personal accomplishments are certainly something to be proud of. No one is denying it. But the constant "today I________!" can wear on your average reader. I'm very glad you did the stairmaster for an hour, very glad for you, but honestly it doesn't do much for me. Plus, you're not being that subtle when you sneak in your status that you went to the gym, among your other errands for the day. You really just want to tell us all that you're working out, right?
*The Obvious Updater: John Doe hates bad weather! Jane Doe hates being sick. Joe Doe hates terrorism. Really? Because we all LOVE those things!
*The Passive Aggressive Updater: Often they direct some sort of gripe, insult, or song lyric at someone, but won't ever mention who they mean. They hate liars. They can't stand backstabbers. And yes, they may be talking about you.
*The Facebook Veejay Updater: They are our Facebook DJ's, or VJ's I should say, as they post music videos all day long from youtube. Seems to be that the Facebook VJ posts a new song for every emotion they're going through. Sometimes, they even do the DJ intros, such as : "Here's one for all the single ladies out there tonight..." Don't get me wrong, I have posted music videos before, and I surely I understand relating to songs in times of different emotions, but when you post 5 different videos within 15 minutes, it starts to looks a little weird. We are barely through your first music video before you are posting a second and third. We can't keep up Mr. DJ!
*The Roller Coaster of Emotions Updater: They're going through a breakup with their significant other. First, they show us phoney happiness about being free, "Good riddance! Can't wait to party as a single tonight! You had your chance with me but you ruined it!". Here's when they change their default picture to a shot of just them by themselves. Second, here comes the anger if things didn't go their way. There's usually some sort of 'I'm better off without you' type of song lyric in there and sometimes they will get mean and nasty, giving the world way too much information. Third, they're regretting the breakup and post some sort of sad song lyric, followed by a change of their default picture again, back to one of the two of them. Fourth, if they get back together with their significant other, they are happy again, before the entire cycle repeats itself soon enough. And this cycle will repeat itself over and over again with this type of updater.
*The Self Important Updater: They seem to think we are sitting by Facebook with popcorn, watching their lives 24-7, as if they are Jim Carrey's character in 'The Truman Show'. They post everything about every move they make, and they just assume we always know what they're talking about. Their sense of what other people care about is a tad out of touch with reality. "Well, that meeting went well, time to practice, and hopefully I can get on the ball this time, lol." Um, what meeting? Practice what? Yes! Please let us know if you can 'get on the ball this time'! We're biting our nails in anticipation.
*The Sports Superfan Updater: We all know who your favorite team is and who your favorite player is. We've seen the countless photos of you in your jersey, and thousands of pictures of the players. In fact, before you came to Facebook, I did not even realize anyone cared about this sport. Thanks for the sports updates. It's a good thing I have Facebook, otherwise, I would not have known that there was a game tonight.
And just to show you what a good sport I am....
*The Self Advertising Updater: Yes, this is me, many times. Listen to the songs I just recorded! Read my blog(s)! Check out the article I just wrote! I need more page views, more facebook "likes". Okay, I know, you get it. ;-)
Happy Facebooking!
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