It's Not Goodbye, It's 'See ya Later'

Today is my last day as a full time employee of SSA's fitness center. I have been here close to 5 years. It's a bittersweet move for me to make, as I am excited about new opportunities at an upcoming job, but sad to leave some of the finest people I have had the pleasure of knowing.

Sure, I have met a lot of jerks here. Let's face it, in a place with thousands of workers, a government facility to boot, you're going to have a wide range of personalities. I have dealt with them all here in the gym. But for the most part, I have made relationships with great people that I am sad not to see everyday anymore.

Such is life, people move in and out of your daily routine quickly. I just wanted to write this blog as a thank you, to all the people who made my days more interesting for the past 5 years. It has truly been my pleasure.

This place has a lot of "ghosts". The walls and ceilings are painted with memories. I now consider it a privelege to be one of those "ghosts", and am honored to be on those walls and ceilings.

Granted, I'm only leaving a job for another one, this happens all the time in life. It's not the hugest deal. But it means a lot to me that I have met so many people in the past 5 years who have made it so difficult for me to say goodbye.

But life is way too short to not keep in touch with people that have meant something to you, so I hope, no I plan, to see them all again in some way, shape, or form.

So I stress that this is not goodbye, just 'see ya later'.

Thanks for the memories.

D

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
-Thomas Meehan and Carol Sobieski

Reading

For the past year or so, I've taken to reading books much more than I ever have.

I resisted it for so many years I think probably because growing up, my parents stressed it's importance so often. Me not reading was some sort of misplaced youthful rebellion that carried on into adulthood out of habit.

But times change and now I find it very entertaining. I like forming the pictures in my mind of what I am reading, rather than have it spoonfed to me.

I am also enjoying reading books recommended to me by other people, that is, people whose opinion I value. I find it fascinating to take in through my own eyes what that person already has, and I believe it makes you and the person more relatable and compatible, whether you enjoy their recommendation or not.

Reading, for me, and I'm gonna get a huge "I Told You So." from my dad on this, has made me a better writer. At least I think so anyway. I'm finding more clarity when I am writing here, in my rap lyrics, or even in the social networking scene.

I know I am just preaching to the choir to people who already know the joys of reading, but for me, at age 33, this is a revelation. I am finding a certain inner peace when I am sitting outside, with no sound but neighborhood kids and birds in the background and I am lost in a story.

Ultimately, I believe I am loving reading because it's always been difficult for me to concentrate on one thing for too long, and I think it helps to tame my self diagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder.

From The Morning

Sometimes a song just hits you, relaxes you, and gives you peace of mind. This one does that as well as stirs some emotions for me, happy and sad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2JjJPDz3EE&feature=related

Here are the lyrics:

From The Morning-Nick Drake

A day once dawned, and it was beautiful
A day once dawned from the ground
Then the night she fell
And the air was beautiful
The night she fell all around

So look see the days
The endless coloured ways
Go play the game that you learnt
From the morning

And now we rise
And we are everywhere
And now we rise from the ground
And see, she flies
And she is everywhere
And see, she flies all around

So look see the sights
The endless summer nights
And go play the game that you learnt
From the morning

"Everything Happens For A Reason"

I hear this cliche' thrown around a lot, but I really do not believe in the popular saying 'everything happens for a reason.'

Good or bad, shit just happens.

Sure, bad things that happen can open doors for good things to happen, but it can also be the other way around. Every event that happens in life leads to other events. Imagine the day you were conceived(if you dare). If one of your parents had made one slightly different move that day, you may not be here today to read this incredibly insightful blog. :-)

The point is, I hear this cliche used a lot when people are trying to console someone else after a bad turn of events for that person. And if it makes someone feel better about matters, then by all means, I'm not taking that away from anyone. I'm not writing this with some jaded attitude, I'm merely pointing out that I don't think there are any magical forces at work in the atmosphere. We create what happens with the choices that we make.

If you get fired from a job, then get hired for a better one down the line, some people will say "See? Everything happens for a reason." But how about you just got fired (fair or not), and you applied yourself heavily and got hired for a better one?

Are you going to tell me that if my town gets anniahlated by a hurricane, a natural, uncontrollable weather occurrence, that there was a reason for that? My house is in shambles and people are hurt or killed and I am supposed to find some underlying goodness to it? No, this happened, now I have to react to it. How we respond is really the thing that is under our control.

There doesn't always have to be a reason, or some underlying, uncontrollable force at work in the air. As much as I'd like to believe that, it is not reality. We make our own opportunities. We work to get what we get.

Hypothetically, what if you divorce from someone and someone tells you "everything happens for a reason."? But then nothing good really ever comes from it? What was the 'reason' for that? Maybe it awakens another part of your soul and you get involved in activities and meet friends whom you never would have met if you hadn't of divorced. But is that a magical force or a natural occurrence of events that you yourself made happen?

Hey, I'm all for quips and cliches if they help you get through something horrific. But I do think sometimes that someone going through something awful may not want to hear that there was a reason for it.

I'm sure I am in the minority, but to me, good or bad, stuff just happens. That's just how life is.

Driving in Nice Weather

To my future teenage boys (and anyone else who want to hear it):


An important lesson I would like to teach my children when they start driving is to of course, always be careful. But even more important, be extra careful when the weather becomes nice.

Something my father taught me as a teenager when i started driving was to really watch the people around you on the road when it's sunny and nice out. I would like to pass this lesson on.

Something happens to us behind that wheel, and I am not excluding myself, when the weather suddenly turns nice after a bad winter. We get that natural high of endorphins rushing through us when we can finally roll down all of our car windows, turn our radio up, and let that cool, sunny breeze rush through our hair, especially after a nasty, cooped up Winter. We get so wrapped up in the moment that we become a little less aware of what is going on around us. I have witnessed this first hand every time Spring rolls around ever since I started driving in 1992. It happens like clockwork. I will see people in traffic taking dumb chances,speeding,or making dumb moves just because they are feeling so good cruising along in the nice weather.

I think, even though the conditions are obviously more hazardous for driving in the Winter or in the rain, people are way more careful. They're more mindful of their surroundings and driving the speed limit because the weather leaves them no other choice. It's the nice weather you have to watch out for on the road.

Don't get me wrong, I love to roll my windows down and pump my music up on a nice day as much as they next guy. But nice days are the days that we should be extra careful, because most likely there's someone else on the road feeling the weather too, not paying quite as much attention as they should be.

Awkward Cheese

This makes me laugh and feel uncomfortable at the same time. I know it was the 80's, but this is the stuff nightmares are made of. Your awkward cheese of the day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz1N3oQxAyw&feature=related

Love vs. Crush

I'm not claiming to be some expert, but these are just some of my casual observations about the difference between love and a crush. As my priorities have slowly but surely been shifting in these past few years in the great realm of "wifeandkids-dom", these are the things I have noticed.

A crush is when you get nervous wondering if they called, or if you should you call them.

Love is calling them just to hear their voice to find out how their day is going. And, you actually care to know.

A crush is getting very excited to 'fool around' every time.

Love is taking comfort in just having them lay their head on your chest as they fall asleep and hearing them breathe. (But fooling around is still great too:-)

A crush is when you're dating and you barely argue at all.

Love is wondering what they are up to or thinking even after they may have angered you to the point of high blood pressure 20 minutes ago in a huge fight.

A crush is hoping everyday you get 'that feeling' in the pit of your stomach when you see them.

Love is knowing that you're not going to feel 'that feeling' everyday anymore as time passes, but being confident that that is okay.

A crush is glamorous.

Love is not always glamorous.

A crush is being with that person because they make you happy.

Love is being happy by making that person happy.

A crush is having great days with them each time you hang out.

Love is having great days with them, but knowing that other days you are going to have to work at making it great. You will find that earning it is much more rewarding.

And last but not least,your crush may not always be your love, but if you're one of the lucky ones, your love will be your crush.

Being single certainly was fun, but to me, family is what life is all about.