Murphy's Law of the Gym Locker Room

It could be the slowest time of day in your gym and the place could be practically empty. You put your stuff in a locker and go workout. When you come back, no matter how empty the locker room is, the one other person who was in the gym working out at the same time as you will always have a locker right next to, above, or below you. Always.

How does this always happen? It's different if you workout at a known busy time, you expect to be asscheek to asscheek with other disgusting naked men. But at a slow time, with hardly anyone else in the gym, why does the one other person who happens to be working out when you are always seem to have the locker right near you?

I know, I know, no one plans it like that, it's just dumb luck. But sometimes I leave my gym bag out in front of the locker I am using while I workout to sort of mark my territory (a lock on the locker could also mean the same thing), yet somehow, the one other guy (who is usually disgusting, by the way) will still pick that locker near me. It's as if they have to have that same spot, no matter if someone else is using it or not.

Honestly, in an empty locker room with you and one other guy, use some etiquette. No dude wants to be changing so close to another naked dude. If you see a lock or some stuff occupying a space, and the locker room is practically empty, get a locker far, far away.

And while we're on the subject, what's with the dudes who shave and do everything in the locker room naked and treat it like it's their bathroom at home? There's a guy here whose same routine everyday is to workout for about 2 hours, go in the locker room, undress, use the toilet naked, come out naked, and stand at the sink naked shaving.

Really?

First of all, who prefers doing all that stuff in their gym locker room over their cozy bathroom at home? I hate using my gym locker room, and only use it as a last resort. I wear flip flops in the shower and try not to even brush up against anything in there with my body. But there are guys like this who just walk around, flappin in the breeze, acting like they'd eat their dinner on that locker room floor.

I understand there are extinuating circumstances to everyone's trip to the gym and then the locker room, maybe they have to go right to work or out, etc.--yeah yeah yeah-- but why can't they at least wrap a damn towel around their waist ?

And oh yeah, the naked guy who does everything in there will probably get the locker right below you too. :)